Guardian Angel
by AnimeGirl147
Summary: Feliciano would protect his brother at all costs...but his determination will put him over the edge.Testing the very limits of his strength,will,and love for his brother.But,does Lovino feel the same about Feliciano? Read to Find out!
1. Chapter 1

~_When I see your smile,_

_tears run down my face_

_And I cant replace... _

_And now that I'm strong,_

_I have figured out_

_How this world turns cold,_

_and breaks through my soul_

_And I know I'll find deep inside me,_

_I can be the one..._

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you,forever _

_I'll be there for you,through it all,_

_Even if saving you,sends me to heaven ~_

_-"Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuits Apparatus_

_**Chapter One:I've always been here...**_

"I have always been here...waiting...just for a chance...even if its just one...a chance...to love you..."

Feliciano Vargas was a happy person. Nothing every seemed to bring him down. Nothing,except for one thing...

For many centuries,Feliciano had always protected his older brother,Lovino. Even though he was harsh,rude,and mean. He was still his brother. And no matter what,Feliciano would protect him at all costs...

He remembered going through the war with his brother...It was painful,yes,but what hurt the most is that Lovino never helped his brother in the war. He didn't ask for help either..well,until towards the end of the war.

It seemed that his army was being ambushed by the allies and he was grabbed his weapons and headed for didn't like to fight,in fact,he would run away if there was one,but no..when his brother was involved,he would fight to the end...

His feeling were in mixed emotions that had no reason looking back,we can war was ending and his side was had seen many deaths and all he wanted to do was to go home. When he reached the battlefield it was utter chaos. The allies were attacking and lovino's army was dieing fast. But,Feliciano just wanted to find his brother and go home. He searched the battlefield for many hours,until he found his beloved fratello hiding behind a tree,a serious injury on his side.

"Fratello!"Feliciano called,running to Lovino.

"And now you decide to show up..Do you know how long I've been waiting!"Lovino snapped at his brother.

"I'm sorry Lovi...I couldn't find you in all the chaos out there.."Feliciano said,looking down.

Lovino rolled his eyes at his brother. He was a pain,but he was the only help at the time. He looked at his brother again,to see he was crying.

"What the hell?Why are you crying?"Lovino said.

"I just want to go home fratello..I'm tired of all this fighting.."Feliciano said,in between sobs.

Lovino gaze at his brother soften some.(Even though he wouldn't admit it)

He hugged his brother,hearing a surprised gasp come from him.

"I promise you...we'll go home..together.."Lovino said,looking down at his brother.

Feliciano wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up at his brother,a bright smile on his face.

"Lets go home together soon,Lovino"Feliciano said.

"Yeah.."Lovino said.

Before they could say anymore,their enemies grabbed them. Ripping the two apart,as they yelled to be let go.

"Lovino!"Feliciano yelled,trying to fight off the man holding him.

"Feliciano!"Lovino yelled back,being dragged off somewhere by the man holding him.

Feliciano stopped fighting when he lost sight of his brother. From that day on,he vowed to never let anyone take his beloved brother away from him. Even if it meant dieing himself.


	2. Chapter 2

_~And when it rains..._

_Will you always find an escape?_

_Just running away.._

_From all of the ones who love you_

_From everything... _

_You made yourself a bed_

_at the bottom of the blackest hole_

_(blackest hole)_

_And you'll sleep to May..._

_And you'll say that you dont want to see the sun anymore_

_And no,oh_

_How could you do it?_

_Oh,I_

_I never saw it coming_

_And no,oh_

_I need the ending_

_So,why cant you stay_

_just long enough to explain?~_

_-"When It Rains"by Paramore_

**Chapter 2:Rain**

"Even though I wont let you see me in pain...there is one place I can cry...and thats in the rain.."

(Lovino's POV,present time)

It was another boring only thing putting any mood in today was the was raining...Me and Feliciano had deceided to stay inside I looked around I noticed there was something missing.I sat up and looked around the was it?What was missing?I didnt know why I felt like this,but something told me to not rest until what was missing was back.

I searched the entire house before realizing what was was had he gone to now?I grumbled a few curses before getting my umbrella and heading outside to find him.

Sure enough,he was had taken a while but I had found was sitting by the edge of the field a little way from our was odd is that he was just staring at the sky.

"F-Feliciano?"I asked.

His spun around in surprise but calmed down when he realized it was me.

"Oh,its you fratello..What are you doing here?"he asked.

"I should ask you the same thing.."I said.

"Oh well..I just like sitting in the rain...its...calming"he said,turning back around to stare at the sky again.

"You shouldnt be out here,you gonna get sick,idiot"I said.

"Can't I stay here for a little while longer?"he asked.

"No,now c'mon,"I said,grabbing his arm and pulling him up to his feet.

He didnt say anything but nod and follow behind 's been like this for a couple of years.I remember when he used to not want to follow orders,but be he follows orders without complaining.I wonder why its like that...B-But its not like I care about him!

We walked back to the house.I told him to stay put while I went upstairs.I came back with some towels to dry him must have been out there for a while cause he was completely wet from head to toe.

I started drying him off when I realized of the raindrops were warm,like tears.

Had he been crying out there?If so,what was he crying about?

He looked at me when I started drifting into my own thoughts.

"Are you ok fratello?"he asked.

'Feliciano...were you crying?"I asked him.

"Why would I be crying Roma?You must be hallucinating,"Feliciano said.

"Yeah your right.."I said.

Really,why would he be crying?Nothing ever made him was always so ,he must be right...

I finished drying him off enough so he could upstairs to change.

"Fratello,I'll make us some pasta for dinner!"Feliciano said when he came back downstairs.

"Whatever.."I said,ignoring him and watching TV.

It was just a little while later when he called me saying the pasta was done.I got up and went to the kitchen and grabbed me a plate.

I sat down and started didnt ask me if it was good,since this was something he cooked quite I was off about the was undercooked just a could he do that?He knows pasta like the back of his hand!How could he mess it up?

"Um..Feliciano?"I asked,looking up at him.

He stopped pushing the pasta around his plate and looked at me.

"Yes?"he said,tilting his head a little in confusion.

"You...The pasta is undercooked a little.."I said,dropping what I was gonna say first.

"Oh Mi dispiace fratello!"he said,looking at me like he had messed up horribly.

"No,dont worry about it...its just...how did you undercook it?"I asked,confused.

"I dont know.."he said before looking down at his plate.

_What's bugging you so much Feliciano?...This..This isnt like you.._

(Feliciano's POV)

_No...dont let him see...I'm such a idiot sometimes!_

All day I had covered up my tracks,hoping he wouldnt be too curious and try to find the moment he said the pasta was undercooked I mentally slapped should I let this bother me so much!

For a while now I had wanted to tell him,but..I didnt have the guts to do just like with fighting.I ran I can't always run forever...Please,you dont need to know..it'll just hurt you more to know..

You know..I never let you see me dont need to worry about me cause I'll be can bring me down...right?

That's why I sit in the there I can cry.I can let the hurt show...you noticed and what did I do?I lied and you believed me...Everyone thinks that I always tell the truth but I please,just...wait...wait,and you'll know,eventually..

_~Hello,I'm the lie living for you,_

_so you can hide..._

_Don't cry..._

_._

_Hello,I'm still here,_

_all that's left of yesterday~_

_-"Hello"by Evanescence_


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm frightened,_

_by what I see..._

_But somehow I know,_

_That there's much more to come._

_Immobilized,_

_by my fear_

_And soon to be,_

_blinded by tears._

_I can stop the pain,_

_If I will it all away._

_If I will it all away!_

_Don't turn away!_

_Don't give into the pain!_

_Don't try to hide!_

_Though they're screaming you name!_

_Don't close your eyes!_

_God knows what lies behind them!_

_Don't turn out the light!_

_Never sleep,never die..~_

_-"Whisper"by Evanesence_

**Chapter 3:Hallucinations**

"And I could picture myself...laying in a field of peace,not having to face the pain of the world..yes,it would be nice to leave and go there.."

(Feliciano's POV)

12:00 p.m.

The time of night I hated the was then that sleepy dreams would fill my mind.I would lose my train of thought and bounce from one thought to a while I got used to night though,I would pray for the morning to come,but I would be even more tired than I was the day before.

After dinner that night,I hurriedly washed the dishes and went to my room.I didnt want him to be anymore suspicious then he already was.

I fought with sleep that night,like I did every night.I didnt want anyone to know about werent just dreams..these weren't just nightmares..these were... could help the fact everytime I had tried to ask for help they were busy with something else.I didnt want to be a bother to them..well,anymore then I already was..

All my life I was called useless,or worthless,or a waste of time and ...the little lies that would slip though they said they cared,where were they when I needed them?

Tonight was different though...tonight I woke up,hearing the sound of someone calling me.I turned over and looked around to see that nobody was I heard it again.I sat up and looked at my was a faint light coming from the outside.I got up and,slowly walked to my door.I opened it quickly,to see that nobody was there.I looked down both ways of the hall before seeing that faint was more like a ball of light.I followed it,but it kept moving,as if it was taking me somewhere.

I followed it until we had gone outside.I looked around to see other balls of light and other things that I couldnt describe in whispers of "Follow me" came as I walked with them,going to where they were taking a while of walking they stopped.I looked at them and they pointed forward.I looked to see what was the most beautiful sunrise..or sunset,I really couldnt tell at the moment.

I started walking slowly towards it,the balls of light pushing me forward a I got closer I relaxed a little before I took a step forward and didnt feel the ground had been taken away from right before I fell,I had one thought.

_They wouldnt care If I left..._

(Lovino's POV)

I woke looking around my pitch-dark room,I looked for what is was that had woke me was at why was I sweating so did I feel like I was losing something?I jumped a little when I heard a door I realized that it was Feliciano's door down the would he be up at this time of night?I grumbled a little as I got up and slowly opened my door.I peeked into the hall to see him walking down the looked like he was going to the front door,but what for?

I quietly followed him,not knowing what was gonna was hard to see with it being pitch-dark inside and outside of the I didnt know that he was walking so was he going?Especially at this time of night.

My tiredness had slowed me I could tell he was far in front of me,heading to a cliff.I ,he...wouldnt do that right?

My speed got faster,as I started running.I tried to yell,to get his attention,but he didnt notice.

"Feliciano!"I yelled,as he kept getting closer to the cliff.

And something took over then cause I ran faster than I had before and grabbed him,pulling him back right before he fell off.

(Feliciano's POV)

I didnt even realize my fratello following had I not noticed that?I guess I was to deep in my thoughts,cause as I leaned forward in that step,I was pulled back.

I looked around quickly,panicking to see who it was that had taken that sweet hallucination away from me.I looked up to see my brother.

"What the hell were you trying to do!You could've killed yourself,you idiot!"he yelled.

I looked back to realize what had happened.I started crying and shaking out of fear.I had almost fell off of that I didnt even see it.I...I had almost died..

I didnt care who saw me crying right now,cause I needed someone to hold that would hold me in reality so I wouldnt be pulled back into the hallucinations.

I gripped onto Lovino,feeling as if I let go,I would be dragged back into the you know what,he didnt yell at me,or push me off, watched as I cried,buring my face into his shirt.

Eventually he got up,picked me up since I "Wasnt gonna move" and carried me back to the house.

_Maybe I was wrong...maybe he did care about me...even if it was just a little bit...it still meant the world to me..._

(Lovino's POV)

Stop looking at me like that.I dont care about him!I couldnt just sit and watch him fall off a cliff!And then he started crying...and shaking...

Ok,so maybe I care about him a little...But if you tell anyone I will hurt you..

He's my little brother after all..._my sweet,precious,little baby brother..._

_~Don't say I'm outta touch,_

_with this rampant chaos_

_-your reality._

_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge._

_The nightmare I built my own world to escape._

_In my field of paper flowers,_

_and candy clouds of lullaby._

_I lie inside myself for hours._

_And watch my purple sky fly over me_

_Swallowed up,_

_in the sound of my screaming._

_Cannot cease,_

_for the fear of silent nights._

_And oh,how I long,_

_for the deep sleep dreaming._

_The goddes of imaginery light..~_

_-"Imaginery"by Evanesence_


	4. Chapter 4

~_Yeah,I'm Afraid,_

_whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_There might have been a time,_

_when I would give myself away_

_Oh!_

_Once upon a time,_

_I didnt give a damn._

_But now,_

_Here we are,_

_So whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Just dont give in!_

_I'm walking in now!_

_Please dont give in!_

_I wont let you down!_

_It messed me up!_

_Not a second to breathe!_

_Just keep coming around!_

_Hey! _

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?~_

_-"Whataya Want From Me?" by Adam Lamburt_

**Chapter 4:Warmth**

"When I look around myself,all I see is a cold,broken when I'm with you,there's just a little hole from where warmth comes..."

(Feliciano's POV)

The next morning,I woke up to sun pouring in from the wasnt that bright,but bright enough to wake me up.I slowly opened my eyes and the first thing I felt was something was the been a while since I last saw these sheets.I was in Lovino's room.I cant remember the last time I had slept with him.I rolled over but he wasnt there.I just shrugged it off and wrapped myself in the was so warm and soft.

Speaking of Lovino,where did he go in the first place?I slowly sat up and looked and he wasnt anywhere in the room..I got up and went to the hall and looked down both sides.I fianally decided to head downstairs.I reached the last step before I heard was talking to someone on the it was,I didnt know.I stood there and listened to the conversation.

"Listen here,if he isnt gone by tomorrow you wont see the light of day again,understand?" Lovino said.

A very quick response was giving before Lovino hung up.I stood there for a few minutes,trying to piece together what had must have been something to do with the is always trying to keep me out of it but sometimes I cant help Lovino was the eldest he was the leader,but I was second in whatever happened we both knew about Lovino trying to hide something from me?

I shrugged off that though and entered the jumped a little when I sat down in the chair across from must not of seen me coming.

"Ve~Fratello,are you...alright?"I asked,hesitated for fear of having him yell at me.

He sighed before responding,"I'm just fine.."he said,taking a sip of his coffee.

We both sat there for a few minutes.I debated a little on telling him how I fell,but I pushed the thought could never feel the same about me,right?He says he hates me yet...he saved my life yesterday..No,thats just because we're brothers!Its nothing more!He could never like me!

"Feliciano?"he said,looking at me.

"S-Si?"I said,a little nervous with all my thoughts spinning in my head.

"About yesterday..."he said,traling off as if he lost what he was gonna say.

"What about yesterday?"I asked,trying to make it look like I wasnt concerned about why he asked.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"he asked.

To tell the truth,I dont know why I did that,but a part of me felt as if I hard to explain.I sighed and looked down,as if the floor would give me an answer.

"Well?"he asked.

"I d-dont know f-fratello.."I said,quietly.

"Well...You cant sleep alone anymore..your staying in my room so I can keep an eye on you,"he said.

"W-What..?"I asked,trying to process what he said.

I couldnt stay in there with him!He'll find out everything!All of my secrets!Sometimes...I talk in my sleep..especially when I have nightmares.I dont want to make him worry,as if he'll worry..anyway,I just can't!I have to find a reason!Think brain,think!

"Feli?...your shaking.."Lovino said,looking at me,concerned a bit.

"Oh! I-I'm fine!Just peachy!..its just...excuse me.."I said,getting up and leaving the kitchen.

Why was I panicking now?I dont understand whats going on at all!I cant take this!The whole room felt like it was spinning and I kept I heard it.I shot rang out through the house.A gunshot,to be soon as I heard it,I felt a sharp pain in my I could what was going on,I fell against the gunshot sound ringing in my ears.I heard a yell as Lovino ran into the room,with a knew I didnt have a gun at hand so intstincts kicked in.

"Feliciano!"he shouted,running over to me.

"Fratello?"I asked,I couldnt even tell if it was my own voice,but my vision started blurring and it didnt help that I was crying as well.

I couldnt even feel the pain just seemed as the world just slowed down then blackened.

"Safe..."I heard a voice say as I felt Lovino grip my shoulders,trying to wake me up.

"Death..."It said again as the gunshot rang through my head again.

It was so dark and so ,I couldnt open my eyes,nor could I move my I could do was stay there and listen to my death being played over and over again..

"Why?Why didnt I tell him...Thats the one regret I have..But if I was reborn..I would still be me,so that way I would see you again.."I thought,as a sleepy embrace covered me like a blanket.

Then it was all a word to be heard again.

At least...thats what I thought..

(Lovino's POV)

What the fuck?I was just trying to have a peaceful morning,when all of a sudden,I hear a thoughts came into my mind when that ,where is my ,where is second thought was answered as I heard a scream cut through the house.

I ran and grabbed my gun from the top of the fridge and ran to the living room where the scream com first thing I saw was Feliciano had fallen against the wall,eyes widened and hand over the bullet wound.

"Feliciano!"I shouted,running over to him.

"Fratello?"I heard him say,uncertain.

"Of course its me!Who else would you think it would be!"I yelled.

He just smiled a little as another gunshot rang through the window was shattered as I grabbed Feliciano and held him close,protecting him from gaining another that I stood up and looked to where I heard the shot came from.I saw person who shot the world seemed to go in slow motion as I grabbed my gun and aimed at the man and shot.

The world went back to normal speed as a voice called was hard to hear but I could make it out.

"Fratello...Dont leave me...Dont let me die here.."Feliciano said,that smile still plastered on his face as if he couldnt move it.

"I ."I said,kneeling next to him.

"I'm glad...that you..actually care for me...even if its just now fratello...I...I think I..."he said,like he wanted to finish his sentence but he couldnt.

I didnt take time to bother him about it as I picked him up,rushing to the car and getting him to the whole way wishing that it wasnt too late.

_Please...Dont let him die on me!_

_~I remember tears streaming down you face_

_when I said I'll never let you go_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said,_

"_Dont leave me here alone"_

_But all thats dead and gone and past,_

_tonight..._

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down.._

_You'll be alright,_

_noone can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I will be,_

_Safe and Sound~_

_-"Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift_


	5. Chapter 5

_~Pretending to be fine,_

_even when it hurts._

_Embracing your slime frame,_

_I found a scar on your heart_

_The compensation of living,_

_the way I live_

_is the warmth you lost,woah!_

_The fact that we wont see each other again is fate,_

_Embracing traces of us is fine,right?_

_But you cant wipe away the regret of our love._

_The days we loved each other..._

_...is proof of that~_

_-"Love Bite" by Kato Kazuki_

**Chapter 5: Hurting**

"And yet,how am I suppose to feel?Whatever happens,I'll end up hurting in the end..."

(Feliciano's POV)

Slowly I opened my wasnt anything around.I was in complete darkness.I hesitated but sat I moved around,there still was nothing there.

"H-Hello?"I asked.

No sound.

"Hello!"I yelled.

The only response was my echo.

"How did I get here?Oh yeah..thats right...I was shot...does that mean I'm dead?"I said.

I got up and starting looking around even though I knew nothing was a couple of minutes of walking,I sat down.I was too tired and I felt like not making a even even body felt tired as I had run a couple of miles yet I only walked for a few minutes.

"I guess I am dead..and this is hell..its quieter then I expected."I said to noone in particular.

Then again,everyone says that heaven is have many different views of what it would ,does that mean,hell is different for everyone too?Who knows,I'm just giving random thoughts to nothing.

So I started about anything, if everything was ok back about my near death experience that .Then my mind wondered onto Lovino.I hope he was ok.I hope he didnt get shot I wanted was to be sure he was 's always so angry at everyone,no matter thinks everyone hates him,but they dont!He's too blind to see who really cares about him was standing right in front of him.

"And I'll never see him again..I didnt even get the chance to tell him that I love him.."I said.

Then I giggled as another thought came.

"He wouldnt even care if I did love him..nobody would care!I'm just useless,little ever stays with me,I've been destined to be alone since the beginning!Why wont I just accept that.."I said.

The giggle turned into crying halfway through that thought.

"Reality sucks,so I'll just stay here,since this is where I'm suppose to be.."I said,closing my eyes.

Then I heard it.A little,muffled eyes snapped open at was here with me?I listened as it got louder.

"Yes?"I asked,waiting for the voice to reply.

"Feliciano!Wake up!C'mon wake up already!"It said.

Wake up?What does that mean?Aren't I in hell?

"Please...just wake up!"It said again.

Ok,wake all it wake up.

_But I'm scared to face whats in reality..._

(Lovino's POV)

It'll be 'll be ok,right?He he's a nation,he cant die!But,over time,many nations Feliciano hasnt been himself ,stop thinking like that!That idiot will be fine!

I sighed and slumped down in my 've been at the hospital for a while now and my mind couldnt stop thought of if he was ok was followed by an either of course he will or no he someone come tell me so I could be a little more at again,if he didnt make it my mind would probably be more messed up then it already is.

Eventually I was allowed to come to his sight of him there,lying in a hospital bed when he didnt need to be, hurt a lot.I found out that the man who shot him was actually after had mistakened Feliciano for me and shot he tried to shoot me when I came in.

"Why cant people tell us apart,Feli?We're completely two different people.."I said,sitting in a chair by his bed.

No chance of getting a was out for ,he would was was all I could do was wait until he woke I fell asleep.I woke up to a sound of crying.

"Huh?"I said,sitting up and looking around the room.

Then I saw was crying in his he was dreaming about to make him do that,I dont know.

"Feli?"I asked.

No just kept I started shaking him.

"Feliciano!Wake up!C'mon wake up already!"I said.

No response.I tried again but it still didnt work.

"Please...just wake up!"I said.

Then slowly,he opened his didnt realize he was crying,he just stared at me,as if he couldnt tell what was happening.

"F-Fratello?"he asked.

"Yes..its me Feliciano..You're gonna be ok.."I said.

(Feliciano's POV)

I held my breathe as I opened my first thing I saw was had a look of concern on his face.

"F-Fratello?"I asked,scared of that I was still dreaming and he wasnt really there.

"Yes..its me Feliciano..You're gonna be ok.."he said.

I smiled a little at the thought and before I knew it,I had leaned forward and hugged him.

"Fratello!I'm so glad to see you!"I said,hugging him as tight as I could.

"Yeah,yeah,I know you , can you let me go before you choke me?"he said,trying to push me off.

"Oh sorry.."I said,letting go and sitting back.

"Its fine...Feliciano,why were you crying in your sleep?"he asked.

"Huh?I was?"I asked,reaching up and touching my cheek.

I felt some tears.I had been those thoughts had made me it was the truth.

"Yeah..Did you have a nightmare,or something?"He asked.

"No.."I lied.

Facing those truths had really really did,but he wouldnt care,so I didnt let it show.I would never let it to more agony.I would always smile,even when it I'm not worth that much to him...

_Yet it hurts to do this..I'm doing it to make you happy...Your words won't hurt me anymore,fratello...I'll be fine..I'll take the pain so you wont have too.._

~_She lives in a fairy tale,_

_somewhere too far for us to find._

_Forgotten the taste and smell,_

_of the world that she's left behind._

_Its all about the exposure,_

_The lens,I told her._

_The angles were all wrong now_

_Shes ripping wings off of butterflies._

_Keep your feet on the ground,_

_When your heads in the clouds._

_._

_So one day he found her crying._

_Coiled up on the dirty ground._

_Her prince fianally came to save her,_

_and the rest you can figure._

_But it was a trick,_

_and the clock struck twelve._

_We'll make sure to build your house,_

_Brick by boring Brick,_

_or the wolves gonna blow it down._

_Keep your feet on the ground,_

_When your heads in the coulds._

_._

_Well you bulit up a world of magic,_

_Because your real life is tragic._

_Yeah you bulit up a world of magic,_

_Well if its not real,_

_You cant hold it in your hands._

_You cant feel it with your heart._

_And I wont believe it._

_But if its true,_

_You can see it with your eyes,_

_Even in the dark,_

_And thats where I want to be,yeah!_

_Go get your shovel!_

_We'll dig a deep hole!_

_To bury the castle,_

_bury the castle!_

_-"Brick by Boing Brick" by Paramore_


End file.
